


April Showers

by Avistella



Series: Your Daily Life with Zen [17]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gender-neutral Reader, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 21:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9566420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avistella/pseuds/Avistella
Summary: It's okay to be selfish at times and ask for attention when you need it. Zen would be more than happy to provide.





	

In all honesty, it was one of the many things you hated about yourself. The fact that your confidence and self-worth was so shaky, barely supported by crumbling ground, made you feel sick to your stomach. You needed constant love and validation from others, needing confirmation that _hey, your presence and existence is appreciated_ or _hey, you are special and loved and no less than anybody else in this world_. It didn't have to be in the form of words, though they were much more reassuring. Just a simple hug or offered shoulder would be enough to get you by, even if for just a little bit.

But once you thought about it, you couldn't help but feel guilty and selfish. Time was something precious and something that many people seemed to not have enough of, you understood. So the idea of asking somebody for even just a little of their time in their busy day or attention was enough to have guilt rise in your chest. Even if they were friends or loved ones—no, _especially_ because they friends and loved ones, you couldn't bring yourself to ask. After all, you didn't want to trouble them.

It's okay. That's what you thought, at least. You've been alone all this time; it was nothing new. This wasn't the first time you felt like this, and you were still alive, so that was something at least. You weren't sure though if that was supposed to be reassuring or not.

You walked into the living room, quiet and absent-minded when your eyes landed upon Zen's form. For a moment, you parted your lips to ask if you could just cuddle with him, but the actor seemed quite engrossed in his new script, and you firmly pressed your lips together in a thin line, swallowing your words. It was a new production that the young man was very excited to be a part of, pure joy dancing in his eyes when he told you the news, and you didn't want to disturb him when he seemed to be busy.

Instead, you silently walked past the hardworking male, heading towards the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. You took a few sips as your thoughts started to wander. _Not good enough_. _You're nothing special_. _You're just another number_. _Look at how broken and selfish you are_.

You exhaled shakily, trying to get the thoughts out of your head. You went to place the glass you were holding down on the counter so that you could press the heel of your hands against your eyes; however, you weren't properly paying attention and placed the glass precariously on the edge. The glass tipped over, landing on the floor with a resounding crash as it shattered to pieces upon impact.

You cursed underneath your breath as you bent down to carefully pick up the broken shards. Just your luck, you thought glumly to yourself. Within a few seconds, Zen had come running to the kitchen, his script abandoned back on the couch. His eyes widened the slightest bit at the mess before walking over to you.

"Babe, wait," he gently ordered you as his hands gingerly wrapped around your wrists, stopping you from cleaning up any further. "You might get hurt. Let me handle this."

"But—" you tried to protest.

"Could you get some paper towels and some newspaper to put the shards in?" He asked, already moving to pick up the remaining pieces.

You gave a small nod before retrieving said objects, and the two of you quietly cleaned up the accidental mess you made as guilt stormed inside you once more. As soon as all the water was carefully wiped up and all broken pieces wrapped and thrown out, Zen moved to sweep the floor as a precautionary measure in case he missed any smaller pieces.

"Are you okay?" The actor asked you with concern lacing his voice as his eyes scanned over your hands and legs to make sure you didn't end up accidentally cutting yourself.

You nodded and lied about your emotional well-being but still speaking the truth of your physical well-being. "Yes."

Without another word, you turned on your heel and left the kitchen, Zen's eyes watching your retreating back. You went back to the living room, sitting on one side of the couch as you brought your legs up to hug your knees. You retrieved the remote that was nearby and turned on the TV before mindlessly flipping through channels. Zen had walked back out of the kitchen just as you settled to watch some random drama that was currently airing.

The actor's eyes looked over your curled up figure, sensing that something was wrong. He sat down on the couch beside you. "Is something wrong?"

You chewed at your bottom lip, internally debating with yourself. "It's nothing," you answered with a voice of finality that hinted that you weren't going to continue with this conversation, so the young man relented. Even so, he couldn't help but feel that something was off, and it pained him to see you act so distant. Wasn't he good enough to have you rely on him? Zen shook those troubling thoughts away, not wanting to doubt the love and relationship you had for and with him. The actor could only hope that you'll tell him once you felt more comfortable in sharing before realization dawned on him.

* * *

The next day, you weren't feeling any better than you had previously. If anything, you could have sworn you felt _worse_. You buried your face into your hands, groaning miserably all alone as you waited for Zen to come home from work. The familiar jingle of keys had you lifting your head, and as soon as you made eye contact with the male when he entered the apartment, he grinned widely at you.

"Welcome home," you greeted him with a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes, walking over to give him a quick peck on the lips. You noted the way he held his hands behind his back, and you curiously tilted your head to the side, wondering just what it was that he was up to. Seeing this, Zen merely chuckled before slowly bringing his hand out in front of him, revealing one of your favourite flowers held between his fingers.

You stared at it, mouth agape as you tried to think of how to respond to such a small but pleasant surprise and act of kindness. Zen smiled warmly at your reaction before tucking the flower behind your ear. He cupped your cheeks in his hands, head dipping down to lessen the gap between you two. "I love you," he reminded you softly as his lips barely brushed against your own with each uttered word before kissing you deeply.

"What...? Why...?" You couldn't form a proper sentence, too confused but still rather joyful at this moment.

Zen gazed down at you, an adoring smile on his face as he stroked your cheek. "No real reason. I just...wanted to remind you how special you are to me."

Without another word, Zen easily lifted you off the ground by the waist, and you yelped in surprise as you instinctively wrapped your arms around the actor's neck, afraid of falling. Zen laughed merrily as he carried you to the bedroom while you wrapped your legs around the actor's waist to make things easier for him.

He carefully sat down on the bed, still holding onto you and setting you down on his lap. He grinned at you as he suggested, "Let's play a game."

You slightly narrowed your eyes, a bit skeptical as you asked, "What kind of game?"

"It's a bit of a surprise, but all you need to do is say a body part," Zen explained.

You quirked an eyebrow, not quite sure you understood what kind of game this was, but seeing the look on the young man's face, you couldn't bring yourself to refuse. Besides, it's been some time since the two of you got to spend some time together, so it might be fun. ...You hoped. Trying not to think too hard about it, you pursed your lips.

"Hair," you followed Zen's instructions, saying the first thing that came to mind when you ran your fingers through the actor's silvery strands.

Zen's lips curved upwards. "Heavenly," he responded as he took a lock of your hair and kissed it. His eyes then glanced back at you, gesturing for you to continue.

Still confused, you suggested, "Um...fingers?"

"Flawless," the young man answered as he took one of your hands and pressed his lips atop your digits.

... _Oh_. You think you finally understood what Zen was doing, and you felt your cheeks flush, but just to confirm, you offered another body part. "Neck."

The actor cocked his head to the side, taking a moment to think. "'N', huh... Hm... Ah, noble," He exclaimed before excitedly kissing the column of your neck, smiling against your skin when a delighted giggle bubbled out of your chest.

After realizing that you had figured out just what kind of game this was, Zen's expression softened as you stared appreciatingly back at him. "Lips," you finally whispered, your eyes half-lidded as you vaguely wondered how the male would respond.

"Lovely," the actor breathed out before gently placing his lips against yours.

"Loyal." Another kiss to your lips.

"Liberating." Once more, lips fell upon lips.

"Lively." Zen continued to whisper compliments against your lips, kissing you over and over after each one with each kiss becoming much more deep and more intense than the previous one.

"Loveable...loving...just—" Zen paused for a moment, trying to catch his breath, as were you. " _God_ , I just love you so much!"

Without another word, Zen crashed his lips against yours, passionate. He pushed himself closer to you, trying to deepen the kiss as much as he possibly could, and at some point, you had ended up with your back on the bed as Zen pressed his weight on top of you, legs tangled up together as he made sure that his small present of a flower that was still tucked behind your ear didn't get ruined.

Desperate sounds spilled out of both of your lips, hands roaming and gripping, wanting to make up for the ridiculous lack of intimacy and contact as of late due to various sorts of external reasons and priorities. It was a reminder that the both of you needed, to know that you had a place here in this world and with someone who cared deeply for you.

"I love you," Zen repeated those words over and over again, wanting nothing more than to engrave the words and feelings onto your heart so that you would never forget. A chorus of reciprocated sentiments filled the room, and you slowly found all your previous worries melting away. Even without saying a single word about it to Zen, he was still able to pick up on your worried thoughts which was enough for you to be grateful for, but for him to go out of his way to try to cheer you up made your heart soar.

When Zen finally reluctantly pulled away from your lips, he gazed down at you with such caring and concerned eyes. Without thinking, you blurted out, "Stay with me." The actor's eyes widened the slightest bit from your sudden request, and you quickly added, "i-if you don't mind, I mean. I just...need someone to hug with for a bit."

"Of course babe," Zen beamed, more than happy to comply. He gave you one last quick kiss on the crown of your head before shifting to lie down beside you on the bed. The young man wrapped his arms around your figure and pulled you close to him, comfortably resting his chin atop your head which he buried in his chest. He squeezed you tightly, a large grin on his face. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Am I really?" You asked, sounding skeptical.

The actor hummed in acknowledgement. "Yes, very."

You lifted a hand to clutch onto the young man's shirt. "Zen?"

"Hm?"

"Why...do you think I'm amazing? Why do you love me?" You hesitated on your question, your voice wavering the slightest bit.

Zen chuckled and answered almost immediately, "Where do you want me to start?"


End file.
